One thing I’ve realized in my years as a enterprise proprietor—and as an individual—is that the frequent denominator of lots of people’s issues isn’t having the ability to say “no.” After we be taught to say no, we are able to concentrate on shifting ahead, nourish our passions and, most significantly, defend our psychological well being. No good can come from people-pleasing behaviors and consistently denying our personal wants.
So, why is saying no so onerous?
Though a great query, it’s a loaded one. Many elements play into the reply, together with the easy incontrovertible fact that when individuals ask for a favor or so that you can take one thing on, a whole lot of feelings come up. Saying no to those requests may be perceived as egocentric—whether or not it’s an inside wrestle or a wrestle with saying no to a consumer, coworker, worker or employer. Some individuals might take your “no” as not caring about them, or others might even see it as an indication of weak spot.
Take into consideration when it’s a must to inform a consumer that you’re unable to groom their canine for one cause or one other and the way upsetting it sometimes is for each of you. Or possibly it’s time to inform an worker that their objectives for their very own profession don’t align with your corporation mannequin. It’s a tough dialog to have, and it’s one which leaves each of you distressed. Human brains need good, optimistic experiences. We crave the “really feel good” impact that comes from endorphins, and we don’t wish to be seen as tough.
That is even more true for people who find themselves part of the service trade. We’ve a picture (a model) to uphold. Society is fast to show a “no” into a nasty evaluation or unfavorable gossip a couple of enterprise. The worry of the negativity that may fall upon a enterprise performs an enormous position within the issue many enterprise homeowners and workers have saying no. This worry causes a downward spiral as a result of we’re not being true to ourselves, and this fixed combating with ourselves results in burnout.
Did any of this resonate with you?
The chances are stacked in opposition to us in the case of people-pleasing, so it’s no marvel we now have such a tough time. Saying sure when individuals ask us for one thing is extra pure, optimistic and what we’re skilled to do when offering a service in as we speak’s society.
In the end, I obtained sick of being burnt out, making an attempt to reside as much as society’s unrealistic expectations of grooming, and maintaining with the calls for of potential and present workers, so I knew I needed to discover a strategy to change it. An lively change needed to be made to guard my psychological well being. However it doesn’t matter what I learn or did, it by no means appeared to stay, and I at all times discovered myself saying sure after I wished to say no. I adopted ideas and methods precisely as they had been laid out and nonetheless wasn’t seeing outcomes.
The issue was that I wasn’t using what works for me and my thought processes. I wanted one thing greater than, “Do that repetitively, and alter will come simpler.” It doesn’t matter what I attempted, I stored falling again into outdated habits.
So, I attempted one thing new. I began to interrupt every “no” down. As soon as I outlined the no and the rationale I wished to say it, I might give you methods to face behind it. Subsequent, I requested myself: How can I say no however sure on the identical time? Following these steps, I discovered my very own system that works for me. I’m now capable of say no with out feeling responsible.
So, simply how can we are saying no with out feeling responsible or giving in?
Right here a number of ideas which have labored for me:
1. Record it out. All of us have an inventory of issues we wish to say no to for one cause or one other. Record them out so they don’t seem to be taking on area in your head. Don’t overthink it; simply begin writing. In case you are an individual who has a tough time concentrating in a single sitting, attempt conserving a pocket book with you or coming into them in your telephone. As you go about your day, jot issues down after they pop up. Take your huge listing and slender it down by putting every merchandise in a class. I normally have two classes: private {and professional}.
2. Focus. Choose one listed merchandise to give you a gameplan for. This doesn’t need to be the merchandise that’s most vital to you. You may decide one thing that could be best to work with in the mean time. Typically the simpler ones offers you momentum as you’re employed on them so you possibly can construct as much as the tougher ones.
3. Outline your “why.” It is very important perceive why it’s good to say no to this merchandise. Your why will aid you keep on monitor when following by means of along with your no.
4. Plan for adversities. What might pop up that might cease you from following by means of along with your no? Right here’s a useful trace when itemizing these items: It’s normally the justifications that you simply inform your self, so dig by means of these first.
5. Discover the “sure.” We’re wired to say sure, so why can we really feel that we now have to work in opposition to that? Provide you with some alternate options to your no that you could say sure to. These choices have to align with you and your values or else you’ll not persist with saying no.
6. Apply. Begin these practices instantly. The longer you dwell on them, the tougher they are going to be to implement.
Pricing is a good instance of one thing many enterprise homeowners and groomers wrestle to vary. Elevating costs may be scary as a result of the consumer in all probability received’t be proud of having to pay more cash. Regardless, we have to increase costs for a mess of causes; having the ability to pay aggressive wages, pay for elevated prices, handle inflation, account for advancing ability ranges, and so on. After we increase costs, we worry battle, getting our emotions damage or shedding purchasers. However these fears are a number of the adversities we should always plan for that might get in the way in which of claiming no.
Now, what sort of sure’s can we give to our purchasers to face behind the value enhance? Can they arrive in additional usually to offset an even bigger enhance? Are you able to go shorter with the reduce to elongate the time in between grooms? Are you able to add in an additional service that doesn’t price a lot however provides worth for the consumer? No matter works greatest for you and your corporation mannequin may be the reply to strolling that line between sure and no. When you’ve determined what your sure’s are, you can begin saying no with extra confidence and fewer battle.
This method has allowed my groomers to change into extra assured of their decisions and make saying no a lot simpler. It permits me to make sensible enterprise choices and stand behind them.
Individuals will at all times have one thing to say, and whereas we can not management different individuals’s reactions, we are able to management the selections we make behind rising our companies. Make saying no simpler from the beginning so you’ll have extra time to concentrate on the issues that matter to you and make sense for your corporation. ✂️
Denise Heroux
Denise Heroux has spent 25 years within the grooming trade. She grew to become a enterprise proprietor in 2014, and since then, she has constructed her model to incorporate over 20 workers and three places without end for growth. Taking the step into the following chapter of her profession, she has determined to make use of her in depth expertise to assist the enterprise homeowners within the grooming trade. She’s calling this new endeavor “The Formidable Groomer,” providing teaching, management, and worker seminars to assist create an ideal grooming enterprise each for the homeowners and their workers.
