It’s an age-old query: What do you need to be whenever you develop up? An astronaut? Positive. A rock star? Possibly. A monkey tormentor? Not a lot.
Few folks develop up with ambitions to turn into a monkey’s worst nightmare, inflicting distress on them day after day in merciless and pointless experiments. But the Nationwide Institute of Psychological Well being (NIMH) needs to rent a “scientist” for its Laboratory of Neuropsychology—house of notorious monkey enemy Elisabeth Murray—to do precisely that.
Modified from Determine 1 in “Refined methodology for implantation of a head fixation system and continual recording chambers in non-human primates” | F. Lanz et al. | CC BY 3.0
The chosen applicant will wind up with blood on their arms—each metaphorically and actually. They’ll carry out the soiled work of Murray and her fellow animal tormentors, performing “surgical companies” that embody bolting metallic rods into monkeys’ skulls, sucking out parts of their brains, and injecting them with viruses.
These with pure hearts and weak stomachs needn’t apply. However these with no medical coaching and a sadistic streak are nonetheless within the operating.
Hiring for a Hack Job
Performing an operation with none formal medical coaching could be grounds for a lawsuit if it had been executed on a human. However at NIMH—supposedly the world’s premier psychological well being analysis group—carving into monkeys’ skulls requires no formal medical or veterinary coaching in any respect.
The truth is, NIMH says it’ll be prepared handy over the bone noticed to somebody with only a bachelor’s diploma—so long as they’ve already lower open sufficient monkeys.
This laid-back method to life-altering medical procedures ought to come as no shock from an establishment overseen by the Nationwide Institutes of Well being (NIH), which has racked up greater than 160 violations of animal welfare tips in its laboratories since 2018. However to any potential applicant who cares one iota about animals, it ought to be a blazing purple flag.
Becoming a member of the Scream Crew
They are saying coworkers could make or break a job, and at NIMH, the brand new rent can anticipate to work alongside colleagues on the chopping fringe of monkey torture—together with Murray herself, who’s an skilled within the following:
- Terrorizing monkeys trapped in a metallic field with pretend snakes and spiders
- Blowing puffs of air straight into monkeys’ eyes
- Strapping them into restraint chairs to allow them to’t transfer their heads, arms, and/or legs for hours on finish
- Depriving them of meals or water to compel their cooperation in testing
- Holding them in solitary confinement for greater than a decade
The blood-red cherry on prime of this killer gig? All of the monkeys the chosen applicant meets in Murray’s laboratory will likely be killed.
Killing Animals Is a Useless-Finish Job
Murray has been at her vile experiments for greater than 40 years, and in all that point—and regardless of $50 million in taxpayer funding—they haven’t produced a single treatment or remedy for people.
If NIMH needs to draw a decent scientist, it ought to make investments its assets in trendy analysis strategies that may yield significant outcomes for people with out harming animals. Such cutting-edge analysis fashions are outlined in PETA scientists’ Analysis Modernization Deal. (Hey, scientists! We have now job openings, too—for jobs that may truly save lives.)
Give Betsy and Co. the Boot
It’s time for NIMH to let go of its incompetent reliance on ineffective animal experiments. Please TAKE ACTION and urge NIH, which oversees NIMH, to close down Murray’s merciless monkey torture chamber:
Then add your identify to our petition to NIMH’s advisory council urging it to redirect funds away from archaic experiments on animals and towards trendy, human-relevant strategies:
